a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
