Nicole vs. Life
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
