spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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