please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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