I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize