If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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