so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
