i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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