She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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