bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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