end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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