i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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