just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
