no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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