me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
bring money and cleavage
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
