Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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