umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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