R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
