Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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