I'm drive I can fine osifer
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
