Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?