I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
They have beer where we have blood.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten