Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing