he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
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he confused my yawn for an orgasm
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
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Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.