i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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