You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
