Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I want a musical about memes.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
