Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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