Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
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They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
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Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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