This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
