I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
