Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize