They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
