laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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