When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
