So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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