Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize