Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
this boner is exhausting
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
