Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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