i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
