I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
