I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
