I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Randomize
