I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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