saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
