Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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