I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
