my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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