Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize