legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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