Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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