my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
