I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
