Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
