I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
