Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
