Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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