I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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